Breath of Starlight
by Quadrono
Summary: ChrisBorus. Chris' constant confusion over what she wants wrecks havoc on the mind of one who truly loves her for who she is. Could Chris' impulsive plan bring her more than she bargained for? CHAP 4 UPDATE! A duel with Borus and some unexpected costumes.
1. The Round of Life

It's just been 3 months… Life is… quiet. Nothing much has changed. Old prejudices have sprung up again; and although the treaty binds, people do have a right to what they think. Pointing fingers are aplenty these days. Zexens are thought of as ignorant people in the Grasslands; I must agree that is a measure true... The council has been re-elected – that's about all the change that took place here… 

                                                                                    -Chris Lightfellow 'Silver Maiden'-

            Thoughts came aplenty to Chris these days. Although there was always lots of work to be done, she never felt very inclined to do them. She stood now in her room at Brass Castle, staring out her window to the streets below. She curiously watched people pass by, a mother and her excitable son, a young couple strolling lazily – their hands linked, and on more than one occasion the young man's free hand stole upwards to touch his partners cheek. Chris smiled, there really must be more to the world than governing and fighting for a nation you belong to but don't exactly feel part of. 

            A timid knock on the door caused her turn quickly around, banishing the dreamy expression and putting on a sterner one. Louis poked his head inside the room, looking around, he caught Lady Chris' inquiring gaze upon him. 

            "Lady Chris? Salome wants to know if you'll be attending dinner?" As he said it, he watched her eyes and saw the slight tightening around them. He wondered if he had irritated her, but knew that he did not when she smiled down fondly at him.

            Dinner? She hadn't attended those for a while. She was tired of the repetitive scene… though she went once in a while for a reason she didn't quite understand. 

            _Another gala?__ These state dinners are so full of pomp… but he will…_

            "I'll attend, Louis. Will I see you tonight?" To Chris, Louis was like the younger brother she never had. She was puzzled to she him shaking his head quickly. 

            "But, my lady! I'm just your support!" Louis said. Chris waved the argument away, "You'll be there, Louis. You can even take the seat to my right, if you'd like to." She loved the way his brown eyes would light up when he was delighted. He was still like a child in so many ways, she hoped reality would not strip his innocence. 

            "Oh, Lady Chris! I'd be so glad to attend with you." He said it in a rush, his face becoming a shade crimson. Chris laughed, "Don't be late," she said before turning around and becoming engrossed in the street life below. She heard the soft patter of Louis' boots going out of her room before beginning to think of a someone who she often wished would touch her face like that, to smile to her that lazy smile… 

            "You've got a three goddesses up your sleeve!" Borus shouted, his temper coming easily and his face grew crimson with the rage that was his trademark. Percival took a long drag of ale before his face split into the largest grin Leo thought could fit on a face. 

            "So do you." He said simply, dodging the backhand Borus had carelessly thrown. Leo laughed heartily, then said. "Both of you should give me your winnings… for honours sake," he added solemnly. Both Percival and Borus looked him incredulously and simultaneously pointed at each other, "But it was him!" they said in unison. Standing near the window in the lounge, Salome shook his head and smiled. Life was good… 

            Louis had just come in the midst, not understanding what was going on. He cleared his throat for effect, feeling small for his thirteen years of age before these men. Borus had just drawn a card, a deepening line across his brows had Louis guessing that it was not a good one.

            "Lady Chris will be attending tonight," he said quietly. All heads turned toward him. That had gotten their attention easily enough, he felt like letting loose a silly giggle. They all began to whoop and grin, setting new bets and wages almost all including Lady Chris. First dance, escort… the bets just came rolling. Louis grinned boyishly, but he would be the one sitting next to her tonight. 

*           *           *

I look up to

Everything you are

In my eyes you do no wrong

I've loved you for so long

And after is said and done

You're still you

'You're Still You' – Josh Groban

            The dusk settled on Brass castle, letting loose a wave of shadows in between rustling leaves and setting the stones aglow. A young man stood on the outskirts of the castle. He still wore his armour, not feeling the weight of it as his mind filled with thoughts. The wind lightly played with his hair, the blond hair and the young man stood there a while, thinking about love. 

            He thought of the last few months, the confusion, worry and work that they all had to contribute to make the treaty last. The speeches to the public, assurances. In the past few months, he remembered Chris... the Chris that was so valiant and passionate. The burden placed upon her with the power of the true rune... and she never spoke of it, but those closest to her suspected. She had been through so much, the truth of her father had hardened her – the laughter that used to ring like silver bells was rarely heard. At times, he wished that he could ease the burden she carried, and to spoil and love her, as she had never been. He brushed a lock that had covered his eyes, he had tried... those long months, he had done everything he thought possible... up to the point he thought that he might actually be bothering her.  

            The Six Knights of Zexen... we are, and will always aid in times of need, even if our needs come last, he murmured softly to himself, reminding himself of the vow he had taken so long ago – and yet, he was just barely past twenty. He was carelessly chewing on a piece of wild mint, prolonging his preparation for the reception. 

            Then there was Percival, his best friend, childhood rival... They were so closely matched in everything, they even mastered their own personal combo attack, in addition to the on Chris led. Whereas, Borus was a passionate man, Percival was associated with speed; speed with the sword, speed with wit. Borus knew that Percival admired Chris, all the knights secretly did; but he did have a strong suspicion that it was almost as strong as his own feelings. 

            Borus sighed. Here he was, one of the Six Knights of Zexen... who couldn't even win a lady's heart. Wasn't it how it went in fairy tales? Except that in fairy tales, the love interest never outranked the knight. 

*           *           *

            The great hall was teeming with life, the number of guests dining had swelled upon hearing that the Lady Chris would attend. Thomas of Orange castle had been waiting two days for an audience with her as had a number of important personage from different places. 

            In another quiet, wing of the castle; Chris was sitting in front of her vanity. The large mirror reflected back a lovely young woman in a simple, yet stylish gown with a short train compared to the latest fashion craze for long ones. The pale violet set off her eyes, as for the first time, she unbound her hair. Letting it slip like ghostly silk over her shoulders, the gleaming silver locks framed her face nicely, lending her a more comely appearance than the stern beauty that wearing her hair up lent her.

            The gloves she wore were white, and short – only up to her wrists: another fashion break, not that Chris cared... let the society ladies do their talking, it wasn't them who fought and defended Zexen, to her they had as much honour as the flea infested thieves of Zexen. She was absently running her big bristled brush through the long length of hair, when she started at the sound of a soft knock at the door. Louis' soft footsteps flew to open it. 

            "Sir Borus! Are you here to escort Lady Chris?" Louis asked. Chris stood up straight at the mention of the name. What was he doing here? 

             Borus looked distracted as he spoke, fiddling with his starched collar and medals. "I'd like to speak with the Lady Chris..." His voice losing some of its confident edge as he said her name. Back in the room, Chris sat abruptly down. Putting on an air of nonchalance and going back to brushing her hair, she waited for Louis to announce him. Her escort? Of all the years she had known Borus, he had never asked anything from her, couldn't he read what was sheltered, hidden deep in her heart?

            Borus didn't wait for Louis to get Chris' consent, he needed to speak with her before anyone else did, to spend a little time alone with her before she was surrounded by important people. He marched, his boots thumping on the wooden boarded floors.  He had to before his fears led him out of the room altogether. When he came in, she turned to him with surprise, her eyes wide upon his. He drank in the image of her, his face softened and he swallowed with difficulty. 

            Chris softly placed the brush back on the dressing table, still sitting on the chair, she turned fully around. Lightly holding a necklace that she had wanted to wear in her hands. The corners of her mouth tilted upwards and she turned a fond smile toward him, guarding her eyes, lest they let anything show. Borus knelt on one knee on the floor beside her, he guessed from the way her eyes became nervous that she thought he was going to ask her something inappropriate and unbecoming. A boyish grin spread over his face, and in a rare show of bravado, he took one of her hands from her lap and held them softy between his own. The hands he held began to tremble... 

            _Does she? What is it that I see in her eyes?_

               "Chris... I just wanted," Chris gave him an amused look before tightening her hold on his hand, Borus looked up to her in surprise and felt his heart in his throat when he saw he smiling softly at him. He turned her palm upward, and kissed it softly; not breaking his eye contact with her. "To see you, one last time... before the rest of the world did." He squeezed her hand, blushing furiously before exiting the room in a hurry, not giving Chris a chance to say anything in return. 

            "What did he mean 'one last time?'" Chris murmured to herself, before resigning herself to brushing her hair, taking more care to do it properly than before. 


	2. Suspicions

Author's Note: I started out this story because I didn't think there was enough interaction between Chris and Borus in the game, I didn't pay too much attention to the ages... and I think I got the childhood rival thing mixed up with FF8 since I usually write those ^_^. I've only just played Suikoden III, so please forgive me if I'm not too clear about character backgrounds, previous relationships, etc. 

Thanks for your reviews, Reemossa, Revia, Andaliri, StickyRice, Keshoo Neko and Rika!

            It was a radiant Lady Chris who came down charmingly upon the blushing Louis' arm. Louis had not figured out what went on for the few short moments inside Chris' dressing room, and he had not asked; but the lady who emerged from there was... well different. Instead of the demure, bored look he had come to expect before state dinners, there was a simple charm that radiated from her. Her step was more buoyant, her smile more ready... and her eyes had softened; but the wistful slants were still there, made even more prominent somehow. 

            "Thank you, Louis," Chris whispered to him as she removed her arm and moving towards the crowd. Louis kept his post as her attendant, hovering close by in case she needed anything. 

            Chris made her way distinctively to Salome, who was in rare good humour, openly laughing at a quirk made by Roland. Roland himself, on the other hand; had no such notion of Salome's humour and was puzzled at Salome's laughter at something he had offhandedly said. Percival was absently stirring his drink with his finger, half lending his attention to three young women who flocked around him. She could not see Leo anywhere, but she had an inkling he had unknowingly made the way down to the common's where, according to him, they had ale strong enough to knock you out. 

            She graced them with a brief smile, "Good eve, gentlemen." 

            Salome slanted his glass toward her, "Lady Chris..." Percival let his eyes stray toward her for a few moments, resting his gaze there longer than the ladies around him would have liked. She looked beautiful, whether in armour or lace... and those eyes, they held a strange attraction, he could see hope grind against hope inside them and he made it a point to question her later if anything was amiss. Upon deciding on his resolution, he half heartedly turned his attention back to the waiting ladies in front of him. 

            "Who's missing?" Chris said, searching for Borus. 

            "Borus, Leo..." Salome answered, "Borus said he had an important errand to run tonight, he asked that his absence should not be too keenly noted for caution against the councils disapproval." 

            "An errand?" Chris said, "That's very strange..." Before she could think further into it, Roland said, "Why is it strange?" 

            Chris sighed inwardly, it was just like Roland to question a thoughtless comment. "Well..." Chris searched for an acceptable answer, "It's important for a knight to attend a dinner with council..." Her voice trailed off, she could not really think of anything, her thoughts and excuses died with the invasion of newer and more pleasant ones; and anyway, she herself did not attend many though her status almost made it seem compulsory. Luckily, Salome nodded promptly and said, "I agree, with times like this... who knows what could happen should even protocol be broken. We should not provoke the council to matters concerning loyalty and pomp, they seem rather quick to anger and swift with judgement these days." 

            Chris looked up, bored. "It's just protocol, not law." 

            Roland looked up with contempt, there was anger in his voice. "The council needs to be examined again, more closely this time." 

            Chris exhaled loudly this time, "We cannot talk of such matters in such open spaces, we might be overheard... we'll discuss this again soon within secure walls." Just then the sombre mood was interrupted by a loud gurgle of laughter, and nearby people hastily made way for another one of the Six Knights. "Leo!" Percival shouted before going off in a peel of laughter, "What have you been up to?" 

            Chris wrinkled her nose, "You smell like you've been sleeping in a pig's sty..." she said wryly. Leo merely grinned and wiped his face with a grimy hand. "A duel gone awry actually..." 

            "What are you talking about, Lady Chris. Leo always smells thus." Percival offhandedly with a grin, waving his hand in front of his face and ignoring the sour look Leo threw his way. 

           Roland smiled knowingly, "And what was this duel fought over?" Leo's grin grew wider, "A girl... of incredible charm, beauty and...uh..." Chris smiled at his obvious lack of vocabulary, "Talent?" she supplied. Louis, who had been keeping quiet the whole time, gave a small giggle. 

            "Talent!" Leo closed triumphantly. Percival gave another of his explosions, spilling his drink carelessly on a nearby servant, his movements swayed by the spirits running through his head. Chris placed an arm out to steady him, he glanced up in drunken surprise and their eyes locked. Chris' eyes widened and she quickly looked away, seeing in his eyes both something she longed for and something she feared. "Forgive me, my Lady," Percival murmured, standing straighter without her aid. At that moment, a slender young man walked up to them, the sounds of metal clicks were heard and Chris immediately forgot about Percival's stare. __

            "Lord Thomas! Well met." Salome greeted, "How stand's Orange Castle?" 

            "Aye, it stands well. You look positively radiant tonight, Lady Chris; you are well, I assume?" Thomas smiled fondly at her, his gratitude towards her ran deep. He grasped her hand, bowing over it in a perfect gentlemanly gesture.  

            Chris smiled at the shorter, slender young man, thinking of the anxious, agitated one she met months ago; thinking she was a messenger of bad news. "Tomas..." Chris immediately recognised the small armoured soldier standing en guard beside him, "Cecile! You came in armour? A guest?" Chris said incredulously. 

            Cecile was quick to shake her head, her eyes were smiling as she said, "No, Lady Chris. I am acting honour guard for the castle master, Thomas." Chris' eyes quickly narrowed, "Why would Thomas need an honour guard on Zexen land? Has something happened? I expected you to say 'escort' but, hmm..." 

            Thomas quickly looked at Cecile in alarm; Cecile shot him a look of dismayed apology. "Err, Cecile meant nothing, my Lady. Things are well at Orange Castle, trade is prosperous..." Chris' unnerving eyes continued to look at Thomas, "I think you're hiding something..." She flipped her hand, initiating there were more important matters than Orange Castle, "So I hear that there is a garrison being organised?" 

            Thomas sighed inwardly, relieved at the change of topic, "Yes, we have recruits from different parts of Grassland and Zexen, those willing. Why, just the other day a squadron of your knights came to supervise the garrison on the council's orders." 

            At this, Cecile spoke up, "We must thank you heartily for the organisation of the unruly garrison and strategic information that the knights had taught, your Zexen Council has been so very kind to look in on us." 

            Salome, Roland, Percival, Leo and Chris were all staring at Thomas now, since when had the council taken interest in Orange Castle after their refusal to hand Thomas over to the handling of Zexen law?

            Chris looked heavenward, "These days... I know nothing." Now her mind was weighed with possibilities and suspicions, the bitter thought of the greedy council was gnawing at her, and she... Zexen hero, felt like a council puppet. "I... excuse me, I need to get some air," Chris said carelessly, "Louis, you needn't accompany me, I'm quite able by myself." 

            They all looked at her retreating figure in surprise. Salome spoke, "Well, that was rather sudden...." Roland looked down thoughtfully, his sharp eyes noting the change in Chris' demeanour. 

            Leo looked abashed, his clumsy hands trying to pick his dirty nails, he absently sniffed the air,  "Was it me?" 

*          *          *

You've got to understand my side 

I've had a crazy, crazy life 

Nobody came along to open up my eyes 

You better take what you can get 

Don't even bother with my heart 

I get a feeling I won't let dissolve

'Stop Falling' – Pink      

            Chris had walked out of Brass Castle's grand dining hall, she needed to clear her head of thoughts. She walked out, past the startled guards who roamed the walkways and knights who guarded the entrances of Brass Castle. She stood near the edge of the walkway, overlooking the ravine... which there was a secret entrance to her chamber. She closed her eyes, in remembrance. 

            It was just three months ago when she had sneaked off into the night with, at that moment a complete stranger named Nash. He, himself had shown her a totally different perspective of life. The way he would swear that he was bounded by holy matrimony to restrain himself from flirting with her, although he did constantly. It had bothered her at first, since she detested being admired for her physical beauty only... she had become fond of him later on, after she had accepted herself both as a woman and a knight. She would fight, as a man would, and spill blood and take lives... but she was a woman, and a beautiful one at that who needed to realise her own wants and needs instead of putting them last behind everyone else's. 

            Her travelling incognito with Nash had opened her eyes to many things, the selflessness and spirituality of the Alma Kinan Clan, the courage and perseverance of the Karayan Clan... of the love that flowed borne whether from blood ties or respect for the land they occupied or simply each other; unsuppressed by formalities and... well, ranks. That emotion, feeling that ran free like the wind through Grasslands, lending the people their unique character: passionate, fierce and instinctive; braver, stronger and truer to themselves than any knight would ever be, because they fought their own battles; they did not waging war according to orders. They fought for what they believed in, not unwilling and half – heartedly and definitely not on the behalf of their leaders. 

            Her eyes opened, she tilted her head, feeling the soft night breeze played with her hair and caressed her cheeks. She was cold, but at least out here she felt like her thoughts and actions were her own; not just unintentionally playing the bait or distraction for the enemy. What had happened in Orange Castle? She was sure the Council was up to something, plus it wasn't a characteristic trait for the council to let go of a small, but increasingly profitable piece of land – provided credit went to Thomas for making it flourish – that they might have had influence over. 

            _The Captain of the Knights is someone we can trust our lives to. Nothing more, nothing less... _

_            She remembered Borus saying, the day she had been appointed by the Council to take the title. Was she worthy of the title? Could she preserve the life of her men even when the Council gave ridiculous and dangerous orders, those with no consideration for the words 'outnumbered' or 'difficult battle'. But she was a knight, and it was the honour and duty of the knight to obey the orders of the Council. She knew the knights would fully support her, and among them held her in the highest respect, but – _

            Chris sighed and squinted her eyes, straining them to look into the darkness. Someone was approaching on foot a distance off, surely not a knight then. A knight would have rode gallantly upon his horse, or that's what little children in Zexen were told. She thought of Percival and what she had seen in his eyes. She had never thought of her knights that way, or not intentionally – she didn't want to sully professional friendships, but at times, it seemed they were the only ones that truly understood what it meant to be among the Six Knights of Zexen, to be revered and held in awe, all the while knowing your opinion and wishes weren't taken into consideration. She thought of Borus as well, always quick to anger to her defence; the blurred line where passion and rage inside him. And then Percival, his quirks... wit, and how swift his sword would come to her defence, even if she was just slightly offended. The careless lock of dark hair that was stubbornly fall across his forehead, the dark eyes that mocked and teased. He was attractive, no doubt; but there was something definitely missing.  

             The footsteps were getting slower, softer. She gently placed her hand on the small dagger strapped to her arm hidden underneath the smooth cloth and turned back to mindlessly observing the forest that lay beyond the castle, to Vinay del Zexay and not thinking this time of anything in particular.

            A breath caught in Borus' throat. He approached the front gate slowly, not wanting to disturb the vision in lilac staring into the night sky. As he had done millions of times before approaching her, he began to search in his head for things to say, flattery or words of comfort and support, only to know that when she turned those eyes upon him; he would remember nothing and could only breathe, hardly. 

A/N: I'm sorry to end it there, I'm suffering from major BLOCK at this time of night. Hope you like it! 


	3. Irresolute

Chapter 3: Revelations and Twists

Like a song of love that clings to me, 

How the thought of you does things to me. 

_Irvine Gordon – 'Unforgettable'_

__Outside, merged with the darkness and harsh flickering light of the exterior torches, a young lady stood unmoving, thinking about love. 

Get a hold of yourself, Chris. She chided herself as she had done for the past fifteen minutes. But the thought of him would not leave her. She blushed as she reminisced the brief moments when he had spoken to her in her room. _In_ _her room..._

She could not think of how much pleasure that had surged through her when he touched her hand, or when his eyes met hers while he brushed his lips over her palm. Her lips curved in a smile as she thought back further, to the times when he had acted with such hot jealousy over her and later dismissed it to her as being 'protective'. Did does he feel a semblance of what I want? _I do not trust my heart... I am afraid, and cannot bear to hurt someone I might love _

Chris ran a hand through her hair, wind blown and floating about her like a silver cloud; but did not cease to stop thinking. Her thoughts whirled about her now, the violet orbs growing distant as she engrossed herself with thoughts of the simple people of Zexen, the welfare of her knights under her command, and also the fate of Orange Castle. 

She could smell the salt and restlessness of a coming battle. She could sense it with all her veteran experience. That small piece of land was prospering too much for the council to keep their eyes turned the other way. In their arrogant opinion that land was simply theirs. 

Chris let out a sigh that had been lodged in her throat. But she had been there! She had witnessed peace and happiness. She had seen how the people honoured their new master and how their master respected each and every one of the people who resided there in turn. It was true the place had not many physical attractions, but there was an inner magnetism that drew many people from all over the land. And above all they were willing to fight! Chris smiled in the darkness, her face glowing. All of them, she thought, with their pitchforks, the eccentric spellcasters, bad – tempered fortune tellers... for their land and the master that had but newly come. They had no organized army, knights, or whatsoever, but they had passion for life and were prepared to fight for it. Even against the odds of the might of the Zexen Army. 

Chris gazed out into the night sky, softly hearing noises from the large dinner hall – a loud bursting laugh; a lady's high society voice drifting across to her, and wondered if there she was ever going to find the 'more' to life that she realized was missing in hers. 

Borus felt a catch in his throat at the simple sight of her. He had steadied his walk, deliberately walking slower so that he could drink in the image of her standing like a princess searching the sky for her star – her knight: Me. Borus blushed slightly at that last impromptu thought. 

Chris spoke without turning around, halting him. "You're back early. I would have thought that a trip across the grasslands would take somewhat longer." Her eyes continued to drift over the blanket of stars, the feeling of hurt enveloping her. Why did he leave without telling her? And why was she – the Captain of the Zexen Knights, not aware of the council's orders to one of _her _knights?

Borus completed his walk toward her, unsure of her tone. "I was sent on short notice by he council, my lady." He stopped beside her and leaned against the railing. He studied her profile, sharply etched in the darkness. Her tone was guarded, but she did not seem displeased with him. 

"Why did they send you?" Chris asked, willing herself not to return his gaze. The intensity of him being even this close had quickened her pulse. 

"The council has an interest in Orange Castle, my lady. But I am not very certain of how deep their interest goes. Orange Castle is prospering well and I am beginning to think the council wants some of that prosperity." Borus explained, confused with her conduct. 

_Isn't this what you were waiting for? _Chris slowly turned to look at him, her breath catching in her throat as her eyes met his. He was beautiful, with blond hair that was not quite straight and hazel eyes that were wavering uncertainly as they looked at her. "Borus..." She whispered, not quite knowing what to say other than topics related to duty. "You missed the dinner opening." _You couldn't be there to see me make my bow with my new dress on..._ Chris thought, but he had come earlier and she could not forget that scene or even diminish it somewhat from her mind. 

At that Borus smiled at her. Had she wanted him to be there? "Chris..." Borus shook his head, "My lady..." He corrected himself, how much longer could he wish to pretend that she was just a beautiful, lonely damsel and not his ranked superior? Violet eyes lit with amusement, as Chris placed her hand impulsively upon his arm. "Please Borus, you have my permission. You always have." She said. _And I love to hear you say my name_

__Borus cleared his throat. The touch upon his arm had not been removed. It seemed to linger, its presence forgotten. Not that he minded in the least. "My absence was noted?" 

"Yes, of course. It is not usual for a knight of high standing to be attending public dinners; it is rare, however, for him not to attend. Many were uninformed of your upcoming absence. Salome was worried for protocol purposes." _And I missed your presence. _Chris lowered her eyes, she was rambling!

"Do you enjoy attending them? State dinners, I mean." Borus asked her. _That was very smart. Couldn't think of anything else to say, Borus?_

"Oh, every high born lady enjoys balls and parties, finding new gowns to wear and seeing whether they can live up to the competition." Chris answered carelessly. "I also love the way gossip spreads in one of those halls. So incredibly fast and efficient, you wouldn't realize it if you had a very large knife protruding from your back." 

"I don't believe a word of it." Borus said, his eyes sparkling with some of their old mischief. He chuckled over what she had said. There was a large measure of truth in it. 

"What?" Chris said, gaining confidence as the awkwardness left her. 

"What are you doing outside then?" Borus asked with a wink. Chris closed her partly opened mouth and turned her gaze back to the sky. _Daydreaming... _ "I was getting some fresh air. The stench of ale was beginning to clog my nose." To her surprise Borus threw back his head and laughed. Chris's eyes grew large as she looked on at his mirth over her statement. 

"What's so funny?" 

When he had caught his breath, he smiled at her. "I definitely don't believe you now. Chris Lightfellow, the extraordinary Silver Maiden, who once had outdrunk five of her fellow knights, left them sprawled on the cold floor of the inn, and was left still sober to pay the bill and leave, saying that 'the stench of ale clogged her nose'?" 

Chris gave him a small smile before putting her hand to her mouth to suppress a giggle. "I remember." Oh yes, she definitely remembered. She had awoken with a splitting headache the morning

Borus looked at her again, trying to catch the smile that so seldom came. He covered her hand that was still touching him with his own. Chris immediately looked up, mortified that she had left her hand there, though the mirth was still in her eyes. She did not pull her hand away. "I'll ask you again in different words now. Why did you leave?" There was a two – fold question in that one. She knew what exactly he was asking from her, but she was not yet ready to answer the unspoken question. That would come later when she was ready to tell him why she had temporarily deserted the Zexen Knights to see the rest of the world with Nash. She decided to answer the simpler of the two. 

"It was oppressive in there." She murmured. Unconsciously turning her hand that was linked with his upward and tightening her hold. 

Borus brought her hand towards his lips and kissed it. His breath lingered upon the knuckles, making tingling sensations shoot through Chris' body. "I understand." He said softly. He often wondered if she knew of his defection, his shame. Of the murderous rage he had unleashed on the defenseless women and children of Karaya Clan. _Please, let her never find out. This moment may never come again... _

"But I am ravenous from travel, my lady. Would you do me the pleasure of having dinner with me? I... I assume you haven't supped yet." Borus asked her, his eyes searched hers, uncertainty making his voice softer than usual. 

Chris's eyes lit up in delight though she had no desire to get back into that gala. It was her intention to get back to her room through the secret doorway. But who could resist those eyes and the charming smile that was too tentative, and she loved the feel of her hand holding his. "I would love to." She heard herself say. And she allowed herself to be led inside the castle, feeling like girlish.

***

I don't want to let you down,

I don't want to lead you on,

I don't want to hold you back,

From where you might belong. 

_David Foster and Linda Thompson – 'Goodbye'_

Later that night, when everyone had retired, Chris sat awake in her room, watching the pale moonlight as it streaked across her room. Perhaps the night would have ended up wonderfully, Chris thought wistfully. Wrapped in her white nightgown that was buttoned up to chin she looked picturesque with her long hair loose about her shoulders. Had she acted too soon, too caught up in emotions she couldn't control? The fear that had suddenly risen inside of her and overridden everything. And in the end, what else could she have done to mask it, other than to slip back into the role of Captain and forget the role of an ordinary young woman in love. 

Sitting alone, watching the night pass by; she wondered if she regretted her action toward him. He was besotted with her. That was not unusual though, Chris thought ruefully. But was what he was feeling and what she was feeling real? For she was a lonely, beautiful woman and pursued throughout the Zexen land... and he was – Chris suddenly sat up as the thought struck home. Wasn't he just as prized as a man? His family was old and honorable one, though of late their social standing had been fading slowly; did they expect him to make an advantageous marriage? It didn't matter, she decided firmly. Not any seed that is planted can be expected to grow. 

"_Love is forged through blood and steel." _Chris recited, her brows furrowing trying to remember where she had read that. Numerous books were shelved around her room, from old and tearing to brand new with their spines intact. "Not through girlish fantasies of a _real _knight in shining armor. _Especially the one with piercing brown eyes and careless hair... _I would probably have to haul him from danger." Chris almost smiled at the thought, wasn't she the Silver Maiden, White Devil and numerous other names that had been associated with her? As much as she enjoyed those dreams, she did not once think that it could be real. She let out the breath she had been holding and thought back to what had happened:

_They had reached the dinner hall doors, her hand now less confidently holding his. She could not stop the guards stationed around the castle from whispering and eyeing them both curiously when they had made their way there. She could not order them to keep their brows from rising in inquiry or grins from splitting their broad faces. There were some things even a Captain of the Zexen Knights cannot do, for the sure absurdity of it. She was powerless and she did not enjoy the feeling. _

_"Chris?" Borus asked. His eyes questioning her. _

_She slowly, determinedly pulled her hand from his. "Shall we?" Her eyes evaded his. _

_Borus barely managed not to let the surprised hurt show on his face, or in his voice. "Of course, my lady." He bowed to her, allowing her to precede him into the hall. _

_Chris' face had only showed confusion as she quickly turned to look at him. But he had averted his eyes this time. _

_She had quickly replaced it a warm smile for all the knights, pages and servants that greeted her as she made her way around the room. On the other side of the room, Salome raised his glass toward her, inviting her to where he was. _

_The night had passed smoothly. Like marble, cold. They had greeted each other with cool gravity and politeness bordering on unnatural between them. If the other knights had noticed it, they had given no sign. During the entire time, she had never felt so confused, relieved and regretful in her life. _

Chris threw the embroidered cushion out of her lap. "This place is oppressive!" She yelled. Here she didn't know her own mind, her decisions kept on changing and she couldn't even figure out what her primary duty was: to herself or to the people. The people who were represented by the council who gave her independence to do whatever she pleased – as long as she played by their rules and furthered their gains. 

Chris bounded off the foot of her bed and to her extensive wardrobe. She flung it open to reveal several elaborate gowns excruciatingly lined and pressed by her ladies. She was on orders from the council to 'keep up appearances' when ambassadors came, thus the real reason for the gowns' presence in her wardrobe. Without the gowns, the large piece of furniture was fairly empty. She tossed about the clothes that hindered her from her real search. 

"There you are, "Chris said, pulling out her traveling clothes. An old, sweater that was a faded green and a pair of black pants that were well on their way to being purple or brown. She placed them along side her cheek trying to inhale some scent – a reminder of the wilderness she had come to love. They now smelled like the lavender that lined her wardrobe; she closed her eyes, concentrating on remembering the scent of the wind that had caressed her so often on her travels. Her journey of discovery. If she had been discontent then, she was desperately restless now. Should she leave? _Give it a few days, Chris... everything will be fine. _

***

Meanwhile, on a barstool on the other side of town Borus Redrum was contemplating what had happened between them. He had come with Percival, who had insisted he knew the best way to make disappear the 'forlorn' look, as he called it upon his face. Leo had tagged along but was not the best company to have, especially when induced with spirits; he was loud and red – faced, unquestionably an embarrassment to any refined knight. He was now slumped into a large armchair, asleep with a tavern wench wedged underneath his arm. Borus felt a humorous type of sympathy for the poor woman. 

Percival along with his life – long affair with fine wine and ale was able to remain more sober and alert. He now looked at Borus; he had not seen him look so inconsolable since the raid on Karaya Village. Percival gulped the last of his ale, "Borus, you look like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders." He began, looking for Borus' reaction to his inquiring start. Borus stared into the untouched liquid, trying to find a pair of violet eyes. He almost laughed with pity at himself. "Care to tell me what's so funny?" Percival asked, watching the twitch of Borus' upper lip. 

"I lost a duel." Borus lied. 

"You what?" Percival asked, shocked. "I don't believe it. To whom?" He had never known Borus to lose a duel. Amongst themselves, the six of them never always won or lost against each other for long. With the exception of Leo who was slower at dueling but devastating when using his gargantuan axe, they were fairly matched for speed and style. 

"A woman." Borus replied softly. 

Percival whistled in response. "A woman, huh? She must have been something to throw you off track!" Percival studied Borus' profile. There was something that Borus wasn't telling him. "What were you dueling about? Did you challenge her modesty?" He prodded. 

Borus rubbed his eyes tiredly, half – heartedly answering Percival's questions. "I tried to hold her hand." Percival's eyes widened, he couldn't tell from Borus' tone whether his friend was humoring him or telling him the truth. He let out a strangled laugh. 

"You jest." Percival said. Borus merely shrugged it off, deciding the conversation was over. "Maybe." He said softly, killing the conversation. Borus then picked up the large mug that he had not touched throughout their time there and drunk it in one go; he then stood up and stretched. 

"Let's head back. Leo can foot his own bill; I don't want to have to be forced into paying a share for the serving wench." 

Percival drained the rest of his cup and slightly swayed when he stood. He then walked over to where Borus was and threw an arm carelessly around Borus' shoulder. "You'll get over it, friend. Give it a few days." 

***

Chris tossed about on her bed, her body tangled with the generous amount of blankets and pillows; still in the restless clutches of her dreams. In those dark, dark dreams she saw a boy. Barely a young man and very much a boy, with lively red hair and a scowl etched upon his face. He had drawn a knife towards her, very much in the throes of a furious rage. She, on the other hand was calm, collected as at that moment anger surged through her veins at the thought of her father having died dishonorably at the hands of these barbarians. 

He flew towards her, very intent on burying that long knife deep inside her. She barely had seconds to react. Never mind that he came from behind. 

Chris' forehead drew into a frown. What had she done? _What did I do? _

"_Wake up, milady!" _

Where had that voice come from? Sweat dripped from her brows and trickled into her eyes. The village was burning! Great, leaping flames more than a few meters swallowed everything in sight, eating everything in its path. Were her knights safe? The stench of burning flesh assaulted her nostrils and piercing screams rang inside her head. 

The boy was suddenly back and very much alive. Chris felt the calm, cold prick of fear, spreading throughout her body in a lazy fashion with devastating effects. His eyes bore into hers for a good while. The river of flames danced about them, twirling about in a dangerously alluring death dance. Someone shouted in her ear. 

"_Well, what do you expect of an 'ironhead'?" _

__A huge explosion threw them both off their feet. Storages of gas and fuel exploded, sending a good portion of the village into pieces and the rest flying into oblivion. Screams that had been heard were quickly silenced, a calm quiet swept over the village. A dark, dark red glow began to settle over the barren, slowly turning to blackness. Despair washed over her. 

Chris bolted upright in her bed panting heavily. Her long hair was matted to her head and her nightgown was soaked with cold sweat all the way through. She could hear small fists pounding on her door calling her to awaken. Louis, she thought with a careless smile. She hurriedly tossed aside the heavy comforter, horrified that the golden rays of the sun were already streaming through her windows and pooling upon her bed. She quickly rang for her ladies to come bring in bathwater and attend her. In the flurry of getting dressed and the pain of her maids pulling her hair into a tight chignon, Chris was able to momentarily forget. 

Louis waited for her outside, nerves making him jump as she exited her sleeping chamber. She greeted him warmly, smiling at the young lad. Louis told her of messages that he had taken in her stead, small errands and chores as well as what he had done in the early part of the morning. "Louise, you are a knight in training. Not a page, please remember that. It is not your duty to wait upon me." Chris absently said, stretching out her hand and affectionately ruffled the blondish hair.

"My Lady! It's my pleasure to do them." Louis said. "I enjoy waiting on you. And you treat me better than any other knight." 

"Why do you say that?" Chris said. Louis wrinkled his nose, wishing he had not said that. He had also found out during their campaigns together that Chris was very protective towards him, always keeping him away from any unnecessary danger or situations. "They sometimes ask me to do the most tiring things." 

"Such as?" Chris asked conversationally, but wanting to know for other reasons. 

"It is no large matter, my lady." Louis said. 

"Your father was a close friend of my father, Louis. That was the reason I specifically wanted you as my trainee when I found out your father had enlisted you." Chris gave a wry smile, looking at Louis' happy smile. "Though you seem to like playing lady's maid more." Louis giggled at the not entirely false statement and her perception. 

Together they walked towards the knights meeting room, where she expected everyone would not let her forget that she overslept. Louis held open the door for her as she stepped in. 

"Ah! Good morning, Lady Chris. I trust you slept well?" Salome asked, looking up from the papers he held with a glint in his eyes. The other knights looked at her, smiling their greetings, lounging about on the large chairs that were arranged in a circular fashion slightly off – center in the room. She avoided looking at Borus. Leo had a large grin pasted to his face. Usually he would be the one who would oversleep and had received the end of Salome's lashing tongue many times. 

Chris took it in stride. "Extremely well, Salome. I thank you for asking." The knights guffawed. Percival looked her over, there was not a strand of hair out of place or a belt unbuckled, she looked immaculate as usual; but he could sense a deep restlessness about her. The dark shadows under her brilliant eyes betrayed a few things she would have preferred no one knew. And she was thinner than she had ever been. The last war must have taken its toll out on her, Percival thought with concern. 

Salome cleared his throat. "Shall we begin now that everyone is present?" He glanced about the room. "Where is Roland?" He asked, mildly irritated. 

Percival laughed. "He said he was hungry." Leo laughed at the remark, "I second that!" Borus looked up, bored. "You're _always _hungry." He said. 

Chris felt a pang of guilt. Usually, after the morning summons, the six knights would proceed to break their fast before each carried out their duty for the day. Now that it was close to the tenth hour, the time for breakfast was already past. None of the knights showed any reactions to their stomach's demands, but Roland was an elf and maybe the difference lay there. She looked down at Louis' cheerful face and asked him quietly, "Are you hungry, Louis?" He nodded eagerly in reply. "Alright then..." Chris said to him. 

Chris addressed them all, "Everyone!" When she was satisfied she had received everyone's attention, she began. "Firstly, I would like to apologize for my delay. Salome, please do not reprimand Roland for justly being hungry. The fault lies with me – for my late appearance at this meeting." 

Borus looked up, and then quickly tore his gaze from her, for fear that what he felt inside would show through them. She was acting like he had expected – like nothing had happened. 

"I suggest, Salome." She continued. "That we all break our fasts first and then proceed to this meeting room for your briefing of duties and notes from the council for today."

Salome nodded. "A fine idea, Lady Chris. You are all dismissed until the next hour and a half." 

Percival leapt up to his feet. "Finally, I'm starved." Leo and Borus mumbled along the same lines and contexts as they all made their way to the door. Percival was about to whisk around and use his charm to persuade Lady Chris to join them, but she was already at the door. 

"Shall I escort you, Lady Chris?" Louis asked hopefully, looking up at her. She smiled gently at him, and gave him her arm. "Of course, Louis. You needn't have asked." She said with mock gravity and threw him a teasing wink and he laughed. Percival watched all with a mix curiosity and a little jealousy toward her carefree attitude towards Louis. Why was she acting like she was distancing herself from the rest of the knights? 

***

Percival chewed noisily on his bread before swallowing it down with a large gulp. He washed it down with cool water and then turned to the other knights. He noticed Roland looking bored and said, "Put away that long face, elf. If you had waited then, you wouldn't be bored out of your wits now." Roland flicked a lopsided smile to Percival, before letting loose a loud yawn that momentarily had other inhabitants of the kitchen looking their way. 

"This table is very dreary." Percival tried again, attempting to cut through their attention towards their food. "Does anyone have a mission they have not yet accomplished?" 

"Aye, I do." Leo answered gravely. Percival inclined his head towards him, not believing it. "And what is it?" 

"I'm still on a mission to win over Lady Chris' heart." Leo said, and broke into laughter at his own joke.

"It was a mission doomed to failure before it ever started, Leo." Roland retorted; his face carefully expressionless but betrayed by the crinkling of the eyes. Percival grinned; he and Borus toasted their mugs together, laughing. 

This was just like an ordinary breakfast, Borus thought. The jokes they had made about themselves and Lady Chris, it wasn't unusual at all for her name to be brought about in humorous conversation. But today, although it _was _funny, he didn't feel... he couldn't pinpoint it exactly, but he didn't quite feel as it was OK to joke about their Captain in that sense. They should show her some respect. Borus looked downwards, still smiling for outward appearances. He knew better, she had the admiration and respect of the entire legion of knights, just not the ungrateful council that governed them. _I cannot forget last night... that is why. _

He looked up to see three pairs of eyes blinking expectantly at him. "What?" Borus asked, his thoughts thrown off track. Roland grinned, "Who is she?" 

"She who?" 

"The one who beat you in a duel?" Leo pressed on. Borus shot a quick look at Percival, who just shook his head and shrugged his shoulders with a bewildered look upon his face, indicating that he had not spoken of what Borus had said the night before. 

"Don't look like that at ol' Percy; it's amazing what you hear when others think you're asleep." So he hadn't been asleep! Borus thought. _I did not give him enough credit. _

"I'll keep that in mind." Borus replied a little tersely. "Was the wench there for deco?" 

Leo erupted in a hearty laugh. "C'mon Borus! We're dying to know. Roland here wants to try his bow against her, if she's good enough to actually _beat _you." 

Borus searched his head for a name, any name. A girl that knew how to fence. "Alright, alright." He said, satisfied with his choice. "It was Lily." He looked around him in amusement as their jaws dropped, especially Percival who thought him either besotted with her, or just plain mad – being besotted with her was crazy enough, mad was just an extra point. 

"That loudmouth?" Leo asked, scratching his head. Percival cut in, "She came during the attempted siege of Brass Castle, with the son of Lucia of the Karayan Clan. She was a pretty good swordsman, and fought on our side." He looked at Borus incredulously. Was this the girl he had tried to hold hands with? The image was so absurd that he started to laugh. 

Roland, not taking the bait at all, asked: "How did you meet up with her?" _Now _Borus felt a little jaunty and mischievous. "She was staying at Orange Castle. And has matured in more ways than you can imagine." 

"Ah." Roland said. "I shall have to see now, won't I?" Throwing Leo a conspiring wink which caused the large man to laugh, he stood and excused himself. 

"Err; I hope he isn't going to do what I think he's going to." Borus muttered to Percival who was shaking with mirth. Leo finished his ale, draining the last drops not bothering to keep the noise down. "Since when have we ever been able to see though that elvish mind of his?" Leo said. 

"Leo, are you quite finished? I was going to ask you to spar with me." Borus said, his patience already stretched waiting for him. 

"Need practice, huh?" Leo guffawed. 

"No! Forget I asked." Borus said, standing up from the table. "Percival?" He asked. 

"Sure." Percival said. Sparring was one of his favorite past times, it kept him fit and healthy, along with fencing. He generally enjoyed fencing with Lady Chris though, she was his greatest challenge for a good fight; she was lightning quick with devastating combinations of attack which he could never keep track of. It was also the only time, besides in real live combat that he could get that close to her and she would not back away a step. 

"Let's go then." They excused themselves from Leo and made their way to the training area. 

The sounds of the training area could be heard from outside the high walls. Loud grunts of exertions and clashes of steel were uncommon if one happened to walk past. Nevertheless it was the finest place to train in the opinion of many who had journeyed and traded with trainers from the Grasslands and beyond. It was a pity though, they said, that it was hard to get into and very exclusive. The smell of sweat drifted in the air the closer Borus and Percival got to it. 

"Oh! I may have to pull back from your offer, Borus. Look who's going into the training grounds!" Percival suddenly said, his eyes transfixed in delight. Borus followed his eyes and startlingly made out lithe figure of Lady Chris along with Louis. He closed his eyes, half wishing that when he opened his eyes, she would not be there. He was so uncertain about them, were they friends? He couldn't answer it with certainty, not after last night, when she had held his hand so willingly and blushed when he had kissed hers. But... it could either be an opening, a softening of her or a closure to whatever might have been. 

"I have to ask her for a fence." Percival said beside him but Borus was no longer listening. Before he knew what was happening, Percival was dragging him by his sleeve, calling out her name. 

"Lady Chris! Lady Chris!" 

A/N: Well, there it is! I'm very sorry for the _extremely _long delay for this chapter. Comments are welcome. I am not sure if this chapter came out as it was supposed to and if I wrote it well to satisfy. Anyway, just enjoy it. And no, it isn't supposed to be a cliffhanger. =) Thank you for all of you that reviewed. I write for the fun of it, but it is very encouraging to receive them. 


	4. Duels and Summons

Chris turned to Louis; then looking to her left and right, purposely missing Percival and pretending not to hear the frantic voice of Percival and his flailing arms. Putting on a exaggerated puzzled expression, she said, "Did you hear something, Louis? I cannot seem to find the source of that loud and disturbing noise." Louis giggled and shook his head. "No, milady." 

She could see Borus in the background at the corner of eye. No, she did not want to fence with them today; not so soon. But Percival was already speedily making his way to her side, not bothering to go around training knights but walking straight through them and disrupting their stance; Borus followed slowly taking his time and the proper route. Chris sighed inwardly; there was no way out of it, not without making it show that something was bothering her. Beside her, Louis gave her a sympathetic smile. Today Lady Chris was going to personally see to his training, but... Louis gave his shoulders a small shrug; this was not the first time something like this had happened. 

"Lady Chris!" Percival said breathlessly, "I'm glad I _finally _caught up with you." He said, turning around to glance apologetically at the Bujitsu master who was shaking his fist at him for disrupting his training. Chris gave him and amused smile, "Yes?" 

"Well, I... _We _thought maybe you would spare some of your time to spar with us?" Percival said, looking back for his unwilling support who was slowly coming towards them. Chris smiled at him, Percival was a charmer. He just wasn't very aware of it when it came down to it. 

"Percival..." Chris shook her head and laughed. "I would be honored." She said, with a wink to Louis at Percival's delight that would be cut short. "But I would have my classes with Louis first. Why don't you spar with Borus first?" 

"That suits me perfectly, my lady. Although I must admit," Percival said with a wry look of humor on his face. "That the wait will be much too long for me to be able bask in your presence." 

That startled another laugh from Chris, who wrinkled her nose with distaste. "Get along with you!" 

Percival bowed low, "As you wish, _my _lady." He then stood up with a large grin upon his face, "Let's go fetch out attire, Borus." Winking at Chris, he then tugged Borus along; who had watched with not a small amount of jealousy at Percival's easy – going manner and the flirtatious display. 

Chris watched them go, a giggles still bubbling inside her. "Well! That's finished for now. Shall we proceed, Louis?" 

***

"One, two... One, two. Very good." Chris praised as Louis parried her slow wooden sword. "Turn your body. Use your foot movements to good effect." The brown head next to her nodded, concentrating on his maneuvers. 

"Do you have the feel yet?" Chris asked, "The sword's motion, the force in which you exert it?" 

"I might need a little more practice, milady." Louis answered. He greatly admired Lady Chris, loved her for her gentle ways and courage. But he had never wanted to fight and hadn't the desire to learn the arts of war. His enrolment into the ranks was solely due to his father's insistence and later force. The pleasure of being put under Lady Chris' tutelage had taken out much of his resentment over his fate and he was happy for her the short amounts of time she could spare for him. 

"Three, four, and five.... Alright, enough!" Chris said, wiping her brow

"Would you like to keep practicing with me, or should we call in another guard who you are not accustomed to, to practice with. It could show how you're getting along." Chris asked Louis, loose tendrils of hair plastered to her flushed face. 

"I will be alright, milady. You can send in Gervais or Colin to take your place, I'm sure Percival is wilting away while waiting for you." Louis said, bent over with his hands on his knees, catching his breath. 

"Very well." Chris gave directions to a nearby page who then scurried off to find either one of the two massive training captains. With a wave to Louis, she went off to search for Percival. She couldn't quite place her finger on this compulsive feeling like she just wanted to shout out her frustrations instead of bottling it all up inside her. It wouldn't do to have the Zexen Knight's think their captain was a sentimental fool. After all that she felt that she did not want to fence with Percival today, while walking towards the room, she felt a distinct urge to. 

Chris did not bother to change her light training suit for formal attire, and because she was the Captain, most disciplinary aids did very well to look the other way. She approached the door and slipped inside. She leaned quietly, not announcing herself, on the far side of the room watching the two men as they circled each other on the small mat. 

Borus and Percival, the pair of them would never cease to try to get the upper hand and would never back down from challenge that went against the other either; Chris thought with a smile. However, they were very close and would never stop at anything to defend the other when dangerous times were at hand or when honor was at stake. Not that they would admit it, of course; Chris snickered, enjoying the match of two very talented swordsmen. They both looked almost done in, but neither of them would give it up. 

Percival ducked under Borus' left hand swing, causing an exhaled curse under the breath from the blond haired man. Percival was the definition of speed and agility combined with a touch a finesse to his swift attacks, Chris liked to watch him more than she liked to practice with him, he was like a smooth blur of motion. He easily dodged the other man's advances and turned the tables on Borus more than a few times. Borus cursed again and attacked with renewed frustration; his thrusts with the blade becoming more inconsistent and dangerous. It was always said that Borus fought with his emotions, seeing it this way, Chris understood why. 

Percival barely had time to knock the blade coming his way, and moved quickly outside Borus' tight guard. Sensing Percival's off balanced state, Borus pressed his attack feigning a combination of high and low attacks that had Percival parrying each of his blows, being forced to lose ground as well. "Do you yield, Percy?" Deliberately using Percival's hated nickname, Borus asked with a satisfied smile. 

Suddenly feeling brave, Chris picked up her sword and walked silently towards them; unsure of how Borus would react to her, she decided to just pretend that everything was like before. _What was I thinking before? _

"That was not a fair game, Borus." Percival said, still trying to move his immobilized sword from under Borus' blade and seeing something else that made him grin. 

"Oh?" Borus said, brows rising up into his hairline. "How so?"

Percival smiled at Chris, standing behind Borus on tiptoes to look at him past the curved shoulder – slightly swaying because she was imbalanced, to grin sympathetically at him. "I was distracted – very much so I'm afraid." 

Borus felt elated at defeating Percival, though the victory between them swung back and forth like a pendulum, for neither could keep that victory for long before the other got back their own. He felt a light touch upon his shoulder, he would know that feel anywhere, the flat of a blade. Borus swung around to see an imposing length of steel in front of his face. Then he looked down it towards the hilt where a pair of lavender colored eyes greeted him with a look of delighted amusement. Chris then removed the point of the sword from Borus' face, stepped back and took a defensive stance. "_En Garde!" _

Borus' eyes widened as he realized, that she was what Percival had called a 'distraction'. Had Percival known she was there? He didn't doubt it for a second as he slowly brought his sword up. _What game is she playing? _They both brought the tips of their swords to their foreheads in a familiar gesture before dueling. What was not familiar though, was the intense look that resided within Borus' smoldering gaze upon her. 

Percival picked himself up and made his way to a bench where he then watched the proceeding duel with growing interest. He watched Borus' eyes as they devoured his opponent, and he watched as they brought their swords together in a clash of steel, how Borus would lessen the pressure of his strikes against her, but still kept up the attack. 

Borus, on the small make – do, cursed as she nimbly jumped aside form his high strike, turning it upon her own sword and almost causing the hilt to fly out of his hand. He understood now how much it _was _to have a bewitching lady as your opponent. It was nothing to the havoc she was wrecking upon his mind and emotions though. He barely had time to think of it as it is and then – 

Chris lunged. 

She thrust the point of her sword in a low line, aiming for a killing blow in the stomach. Borus barely avoided the thrust by a strong beat of his blade, knocking hers out of line. He sprung back for a moment and was unbalanced. Chris saw his hesitation and lunged forward again. 

Borus laughed suddenly as he leaped away, knocking her blade aside once more. Quickly tossing his sword from right hand to left, he reached out and pulled her sword arm at the wrist, causing her, in turn, to lose balance. Chris stumbled, "Borus! You cheat!" She said indignantly, amused that he should try such a thing with her and by the familiarity of the act. 

But it puzzled him; here she was, jauntily fencing with him. Her face was damp and a becoming flush of red was appearing upon her cheeks as they dueled. Wet silvery strands were loose about her face, escaping the lush knot of hair, covered by a mesh net, that lay upon her nape. His concentration was already being sorely tested as confusion concerning her actions toward him settled in. 

Suddenly Chris launched a furious attack in high line, forcing Borus to retreat across the room. He found himself backed up against a wall and waited. She lunged again, and he nimbly stepped aside, the padded point of her blade striking the wall an instant after he vacated the spot. He jumped past her, reaching at the pins that held the mesh up and pulled one out. 

"Oh!" she cried, spinning around to face him. Both hands reaching up to the silver mass that was becoming undone, they fell like molten silver rushing down her back. Her expression was caught between anger and amusement. "You monster!"

Borus stood ready, a look of mock confrontation upon his face. Meanwhile, Percival had a look that changed from gaping shock to a mirthful amusement. Chris measured the distance between them and began to advance slowly. She was not wearing any padded armor, and the tight suit that she wore flattered her slender frame. If only he could read into her thoughts... 

Borus always welcomed this session with her, not only was she an extremely skilled swordsman, but because she was more relaxed and playful – so unlike the intense, focused Captain she was when she was at duty. When they were dueling, these little flirtations were aplenty and it was during these times that Borus held out guarded hope that she _was _feeling more than friendship or that her plaintive feelings she harbored were developing into something more. 

He watched her now, and he laughed at the eager mischief on her face. Then he saw the deep sensual glow in those violet eyes belying the mischief, saw the full, passionate mouth opened slightly in her own laughter, the little white teeth clipped over her bottom lip. Borus drew a short breath, lost in her spell. 

Borus blinked and found himself with her sword's point at his throat. He could hear Percival cheering and clapping in the distance, so engrossed he had been with the alluring image of her. He playfully threw down his own weapon and said, "Lady, I yield!" 

Chris laughed. "What were you daydreaming about, Borus?" 

He gently pushed aside the tip of her sword. _You... _"I was thinking into one fine day into the future, when you would say those words to me." 

"Keep on 'dreaming' then." Chris said. Percival came up to them, "May I shake the hand of the victor?" Chris smiled and gave him her hand, and when he bowed over it, she barely suppressed her giggle.

"Borus," Percival said, beaming. "Well fought." Borus fought down his own amusement as he realized that Chris had intervened before Percival had yielded, and a duel was not concluded before the defeated pronounced it. Therefore, Percival had not lost to him – the duel was considered unfinished and there was no victor. Himself, on the other hand, had yielded to Chris' onslaught. _And in many other ways..._

__Chris took a quick look at Borus, to confirm to herself that he did not hold any ill thoughts about her after she refused to be seen with her hand in his. He just grinned at her and winked. Chris was relieved and also confused by his actions. Wouldn't he hate her a little? After all, she had played into his hand... and then pulled away. Didn't he feel anything for her to not feel rebuffed?

An red-faced Louis then rushed towards them. "Lady Chris!" 

"What's the emergency, Louis?" 

"S – Sir Salome! He's furious, madam. He gave me instructions to find you 'at once' and tell you to come to the conference room – immediately!" 

Chris glanced at the large clock that hung upon the wall – goodness! It was and hour past the time Salome had allotted them. Her hands flew to her hair, she was a mess! Percival and Borus threw back their heads and laughed at her agitation. Percival thought she looked just charmingly young and carefree, without the severe tight knot of hair and he told he so. To Borus' surprise and not a small amount of envy, Chris laughed and threw a wink his way before turning around to leave saying. "Thanks, Percy. Let us be off then." 

Percival wagged his eyebrows to Borus before obliging to her command and bouncing to catch up to and walk beside her. Borus crossed his arms in front of his chest and watched them leave, perfectly looking like the jealous companion. She had said 'us', Borus thought back, a frown marring his smooth forehead. _You're going the wrong way about this, Borus. At least I hope that I am _He felt insecurity eat up at him at the thought that she might favor Percival over him. He didn't want to think any further than that. 

Beside him, Louis cleared his throat causing Borus to start. "Salome also requested your attendance, Lord Borus." 

"Hmm? Oh... is it important?" Borus said, walking out of the small room and out into the large corridor. Louis grinned; he could tell that Borus was just asking because it seemed the thing to do but his thoughts were miles from what Salome might want. He might not want to act the part of a enamored knight, but his actions screamed it out loud. 

"A messenger has just come from Vinay del Zexay. Whatever his message, it has caused Salome some great deal of anger, my lord." Louis answered. "It angered him some more when none of the knights returned to continue the short meeting after the given time."

It takes a lot to anger Salome, Borus thought. As if reading his thoughts, Louis said, "Salome does not anger easily, my lord. You should have seen his face when he stormed out of that room, unfortunately I was passing by." 

Borus chuckled, "You must be very courageous then to have survived it." Louis grinned up at him, "I believe so, my lord."

***

After the initial shock of seeing Chris with her hair tumbling down to her waist, with grime upon her training suit and soft shoes, Salome had surprisingly but wryly complimented her for her bravery for coming in attired as such and the youthful appearance that it brought up. Salome had quite forgotten how young his captain actually was. Chris had blushed becomingly and profusely apologized for her appearance as well as her late arrival. 

Percival, sitting on a couch beside her looked at her as he had looked at her a thousand times before. He adored her, that much was true and true again for almost all the knight population, he thought as he gazed at her but he often wondered if she could feel for anyone, lest of all him. The color brought about by recent exercise and teasing brightened her face, erasing the smooth ivory skin he was so accustomed to. And it took a great deal of discipline to not reach over and bury his hands in the masses of soft hair that fell down her back. He was spared that as Borus strode in the room, giving him an odd look before sitting down. Percival had no doubts that Borus had a fair idea of what he was thinking. The man had a sixth sense about anything and everything about Chris. 

There, Percival concluded, was the real competition. 

Chris, suddenly restless, got up from her seat and walked over to the large paned windows that overlooked the courtyard. Borus watched as she did so, not knowing what to think anymore. 

She stared out the window for long moments, wondering when the characteristic 'impulsive' was ever associated with her. It was now – with her behaviour concerning Borus. So engrossed in dissecting her actions, she failed notice even when Roland and Leo announced themselves and then gaped at her for a long while before taking a seat. 

Salome cleared his throat, for the second time round. 

Chris whirled around to find the five of them looking expectantly at her. "Oh! Why didn't' any of you tell me instead of glowering at me in that ferocious fashion?" _Or is it my hair?_

__Salome smiled at her, "Shall we begin?" 

"Yes, yes." Chris said, hurriedly sitting down. 

"What's the emergency, Salome?" Percival asked, raking a hand through his hair. 

Salome glanced quickly at Chris and continued, "There have been raids on Zexen merchants, mostly those dealing with the Grasslands. The merchants themselves were not harmed, but stocks they were bringing in their wagons stolen. It seems that in Vinay del Zexay, the more prosperous merchants are not receiving their stock, and therefore cannot trade internationally without delay. The council – made up of wealthy merchants themselves, feel that this could be a threat to the steady flow of Zexen Federation income if not looked into immediately." 

Chris looked at Leo with raised eyebrows; his look of surprised disgust matched hers. Were the knights to become wagon guardsmen then? 

"However, that is not the disturbing news yet, seeing the look upon your faces." Salome said, noticing the others' expressions. "There is more," Salome added, flicking his eyes over the scroll. "Women traveling with their husbands, or spinsters with their merchant brothers, sisters... were not left alone."

Chris frowned. "What do you mean?" 

"They were taken by the raiders, along with the marketable goods." Salome finished off as if he had a bitter taste in his mouth. "No demands of ransom were made. The women were never seen again, though searches have been made. Most of the search parties consisted of Zexen infantry; even Kidd up from Orange Castle has been hired as a private investigator and is often seen out and about." 

Percival looked at Borus, wondering if breeding would tell. For all Percival knew of merchants and their sons was that they were good at being very loud and making money, but had a tendency to be very cowardly with their actions following their words. Borus had proved many times over that he was more than a spoilt, rich son of a wealthy merchant, but his actions at Karaya told Percival that something darker lurked beneath his cool exterior and articulate speech. 

Borus, on the other hand, was thinking how on earth these men did not manage to protect their women. He was sure had they retaliated somehow, they would have been injured to some extent. It was like they had let them go without any sort of fight. _If that had been Chris..._

"Chris, the council expects you to give chase to these bandits; chose who you will to accompany you. You have been ordered to seek out any information firstly at Orange Castle, since it is a booming centre for commerce now." Salome said, with a note of surprise at the last portion of the missive. 

Chris looked at her hands, "If it is the will of the council I will go." She said, not bothering to conceal her distaste. 

"This is hardly an assignment to hand over to the Captain of the Zexen Knights." Borus said, mirroring her thoughts. Percival nodded his agreement. 

"It is our duty to the Zexen people... to protect them. It will be my pleasure." Chris said, standing up. 

Salome walked slowly towards her. "Chris, there is one more thing I did not mention. The goods that have been stolen were mainly weaponry and armor, with the occasional loot for food and rare objects." 

"You think this a threat to Zexen?" Chris asked. 

"Well, apparently the council sees it as such." Salome said with a shrug. "Think of it this way, it could be nothing or it could mean everything. It is better that we know." 

"How many men do you suggest for this chore?" Roland asked. 

"I will take Leo and Borus. Louis will come as my support." Chris said decisively. "We will make this plain and simple. I shall play the damsel accompanying two drunken merchants traveling homeward bound." She stood up and strode to the door. 

Borus nodded and Leo grinned at the thought of Lady Chris being anyone's damsel. Louis bowed to the company. "I will make preparations for the horses and goods. When do you plan to leave, milady?" 

"Wait," Roland said suddenly. "Who is to supervise the new garrison at Orange Castle if Borus goes?" Chris' eyebrows rose in surprised accusation at this statement and she looked at Salome. Salome's silence confirmed that he had known about it. Why wasn't she told about it?

"Oh, is that where Borus has been going these past few weeks?" Chris asked with a bored drawl to her voice, anger making her eyes glint. Salome looked hard at Roland, almost kicking himself for forgetting to relay the message from the council to him, before addressing her. "Chris..." He began, before she cut him. 

"That's 'Captain' or 'Lady Chris' to you!" Chris retorted sharply, her foot tapping impatiently upon the floor. "Why wasn't I told of this?" 

Salome looked stunned, "I beg your pardon. As I was about to explain – " 

"Get to the point, Salome." 

"The council made a private request. For me." Borus said quietly, keeping his eyes upon his upturned palms, avoiding her eyes. Chris' eyes snapped to him, looking at him with none of the warmth that was apparent during their duel. 

"Alright then, since we're all talking in circles; why you?"

Borus looked up at her then, his eyes clouded over and he swallowed, "I – I don't know..." 

Percival kept silent, watching the barbs fly between his comrades. He partly knew the reason why Borus had been chosen, but it was a small one to be sure. He had not known until he had caught Borus being excused for ordinary duty and had confronted him. The council had specifically wanted Borus for this job, and they had ordered him to be discreet about it, so far Percival had kept his word and not breathed a word about it to anyone. How Roland knew about it, he couldn't guess. But the way he had nonchalantly asked about it made Percival wonder if he had known it was an undercover operation. Percival made it a point to question it later. 

Chris gave a snort of disgust. "Fine. Why is there need of a garrison at Orange Castle?" When she saw that no one was answering her questions, she threw up her hands in defeat. "I give up. Louis, get the preparations done as soon as possible. Suddenly this castle is too shrouded in mystery to understand, let alone live in." 

"Yes, right away." Louis said, scurrying to get up and out the door. 

"Thank you, Louis. We will be leaving in the evening, to reach Vinay del Zexay on the light of the second day. If that will be all, Salome?" Chris asked sarcastically, somehow Salome did not seem to hear it. 

"Yes. Thank you for your prompt arrival." Salome said absently. Chris turned back, only to see him engrossed in his other papers and the rest of the knights grinning. "He means, thank you for coming wearing such flattering attire. It saps away anger like a breeze." Percival said, with a wink. 

"P – Percival!" Salome stuttered, looking thoroughly flustered. Chris rolled her eyes and exited the room. 

***

Chris strolled, making her rounds in the Brass Castle courtyard. Dressed in her usual armor with her hair once again tightly in place, she passed one Percival – laughingly engaging three ladies with heroic tales, making them swoon with his presence alone. Percival was good – looking, Chris admitted to herself; with windblown dark brown hair and mischievous air about him. But there was a certain roguishness to his character that shied her away from his attempts, a look that would flare in his eyes when they were close to each other that she did not quite feel comfortable with, that made her feel a little weak in the knees and vulnerable to her inner wants. 

"Why would the council order me about for something so trivial?" Chris muttered to herself. Unless they had wanted her out of the way for something they knew she would protest against or to plant the seed of doubt and distrust amongst threats or newly founded enemies. This was done subtly and under the noses of their competitors, so that they would profit in the end. The council would even consider the slavery of the Zexen people under the Harmonian finger if it profited them enough. Her trails of thoughts were interrupted by a very hard shove from behind. 

"Oomph!" Chris whirled around to see who had bumped into her and saw a small girl who was held by the hand by a large red – faced woman, who she assumed was her mother. 

"Heavens! It's Lady Chris! Belle, apologize this instant." The woman chided; the child however looked at Chris with large eyes and didn't seem at all affected by her mother's agitation. She held in her hand a funny looking hammer which Chris could not discern was weapon or toy. "If you hadn't been so intent fussing over that rubbish barrel and scrap metal..." She droned on and the child named Belle just grinned up at Chris and offered her hand. Chris shook it with sham solemnity and winked at the young girl who didn't seem too awed by her presence. Chris liked the feeling of someone treating her as an ordinary person than a living legend. 

They strolled off after the woman offered a stuttering apology and left holding the girls arm this time. The girl turned around in the strong grip and waved to her, Chris smiled and waved back. She continued walking, not really knowing where she was going and just letting her legs take her wherever they went. She stopped short when she reached the door to the Bujitsu room. _Trust me to lead myself here..._

__It was where Borus spent most of his time while at Brass Castle. 

Later that afternoon, she stood next to Louis in the stables, helping him brush down and attire the horses. 

"You wouldn't believe what I found at the supply shop, Lady Chris!" Louis exclaimed, jumping down from a footstool and coming towards her. Chris couldn't think what in the world he could find in a supply shop that would cause him to be this excited, so she looked on expectantly with an amused smile tugging at her lips. 

"This!" Louis announced, and the item he held up caused Chris to burst out into laughter. He was holding a rather limp looking wig. The hairs upon it were black and ridiculously curly; and it had a long fringe that would surely get into her eyes. What a peasant she would look like wearing it!

"You really can't expect me to wear that tomorrow, Louis." Chris said laughingly.

"But – milady! You'll have to dress the part if the plan is go work. And I have these for Leo." The item he held up this time, made Chris dissolve into mirth again. She couldn't begin to imagine the look Leo might have on his face if he had seen the dirty purple colored arm warmers that Louis was waving in her face. 

"That's not all..." Louis added, making Chris groan in mock anticipation. "I got this gown from a nice old lady down in the keep; she said she had no more use for it." 

"Yes, I can see why." Chris said dryly, looking at the abominably ugly piece of brown cloth Louis was holding up against his body – making Chris suddenly feel like another bout of laughter at the comical picture Louis made. 

"Are those the 'preparations' you've been making?" Chris asked with mock severity. 

"I finished making the 'other' preparations a long time ago. So I thought..." 

"That you needed to find costumes for our play?" Chris added helpingly. "Louis! You're a treasure. When you present those repulsive arm warmers to Leo, say it is on my command." Chris added, suddenly feeling very carefree. 

The large grin that Louis gave Chris caused her to shake her head in amusement. "Of course, milady. There are other garments..." He trailed off with a laugh. 

Louis admired Chris above anyone else he had ever met. He studied her now, dirtying her hands and helping him with a task that was beneath her station. He recalled the small commotion in the meeting room and couldn't help but feel sympathy for her. She must have felt no small amount of betrayal, for sure. Louis looked down on his light armor and smudged tunic beneath it, and sighed. He was just an apprentice knight after all, but he felt the need for Chris to know that she could count on him, no matter what. 

"Lady Chris?" 

"Hmm?" 

"I have some trouble deciding where my loyalties lie." Louis admitted. Chris turned around at him, startled by his serious tone and the gravity of the question. It was actually close to treason, when she repeated the question in her mind. 

"What do you mean?" 

"I feel no obligation to the council, my lady," Louis whispered, shuffling his feet. 

Chris sobered immediately. "Then you should keep these thoughts to yourself, Louis. It may be dangerous for you to voice them out. You could be branded a traitor and expelled." _Am I a traitor then?_

"No, I mean..." Louis searched for the words. "I was with you during the border clash, two years past. I have no faith in the council anymore. I dislike their power over the Zexen Knights. They do not deserve it, if anything."

Chris looked at him steadily, her eyes searching his troubled ones. "What do you have faith in then?" 

Large brown eyes lifted to hers and looked steadily at them. "I have much faith in _you_, my lady. Not the knights, nor the council. You are a true representation of what Zexen should be." 

"And what should Zexen be?" 

"Goodness and truth, something like that... and with their every breath and task, it should be done for Zexen and the people. Not for personal gain or wealth." Louis said thoughtfully, thinking of the guild of greedy merchants who ran the council. 

Chris felt very much touched by his words. And humbled beyond words, "Thank you, Louis." She said softly, absently brushing down a horse's coat and wondering what prompted Louis to say such a thing. Rhythmically, the movement of her hand worked through the horse's smooth coat. She thought of the ridiculous mission that had been commissioned to her and the funny wardrobe the Louis had provided for it. What would it be like to actually be a commoner? She had felt some of it during her time with Nash out in the Grasslands and had enjoyed it immensely. The freedom to explore and wonder at the gargantuan hollow of the Lizard Clan and not have them look upon her as enemy or with suspicion, the lovely feel of the breeze when standing in between grapevines during her time at Chisha Village. She closed her eyes and envisioned herself in those places, wishing all the while she could be free of her obligations in Zexen and felt a wave of sadness wash over her as thoughts of her father drifted into her mind. _In the end, he had chosen the life of a Karayan warrior... _

"Do they sell lots of wigs at the supply shop?" Chris asked suddenly, her mind whirling with an idea too impetuous to give thought to. 

"They have many, my lady." Louis said, confused. 

"Do they have wigs that are the same colour as my hair?" Chris prompted further. 

"Y – Yes." 

"The same length?" Chris asked; her eyes alight with excitement as she thought out her impulsive plan. Could someone take her place? Her personal maid at Brass castle would jump at an opportunity to gaze upon any of the men in her regimen, especially Borus as she had once mentioned to Chris' immense disapproval. Yes, she was sure Sherry would agree. Chris was also doubly sure of Sherry's loyalty to her. 

Louis in turn watched Chris as her stokes became less focused and her brow creased in thought. What was strange, he thought, was the way her eyes positively glowed. "What do you have in mind, Lady Chris?" 

Chris turned to him, blinking. "I – I was just thinking of the ride ahead." She lied badly. 

"What's that got to do with wigs the same colour and length as your hair?" Louis asked, determined to get to the reason why Chris looked like a woman reborn. 

"Something or everything... would you like to go for a trip?" Chris said evasively, phrasing Salome's words from that morning. She barely heard Louis' sigh of resignation as she contemplated her intention. 

"Lady Chris, I would accompany you to the Grasslands and beyond." 


End file.
